Truly "Epic" quests

Does this kind of quest look familiar?

Please, Lord Adventurer, please help me! I’m a poor, innocent maiden in desperate need of aid. Our village lived under the tyranny of the Dark Count of Doom and his minions for so long. _{^{They devour our babies,}} kill _{^{our pets, pee in our gardens and stomp on our flowers. But his reign of terror may be on the brink of ending. My own brother Gobooley has learned about the Dark Count’s weakness and entered the Dungeon of Doom with his sword and his}} bad_{^{-tempered duck, aiming to destroy the stone heart that sustains the count’s life. And then my brother will become a hero, but I hate him and I can’t let that happen! He is the one who stole my all candies when I was a child and he even once spat into my soup. Isn’t that truly evil? So please, enter the dungeon of Doom and stop my brother before it’s too late! I’m certain that the village will come across some random adventurous}} guy _{^{to confront the malevolent Count on another day anyway.}}

Yes, I stopped reading after the first line too.

So in Gobs and Gods, quests won’t exactly look like this. You won’t be asked to save the world yet another time, or to rescue yet another random guy about whom you just don’t care. Instead, you will get quests which make sense for a gob. And maybe for once you will actually read the text!